Being Reactive is a sudden, knee jerk reaction that can be driven by unprocessed emotions. We see it every day in social media and the news. It can trickle into our lives; we find ourselves reacting in ways that raise our heart rate and blood pressure, causing chaos in our everyday lives at home, work, and social events.
“You are wrong, and I am right,” and “that’s not the way to do it,” are two common reactions to someone that see’s things differently than you. Being reactive to a situation because of believing information we receive to be wrong or somehow hurtful is an easy habit, that can become behavior, to form.
The blame game is an all too convenient way to justify one’s actions. We might learn this game at a young age when those around us would justify our behavior to others. Then, by default, we continue this behavior not knowing any different.
Letting others have a different point of view is a very noble thing. Being Co-Dependent, we can form attachments to others’ ideas, internalize it, and see them as a threat to us. From the emotions of anger, sadness, and disappointment to feeling threatened and being judged, we are then reactive in a defensive, justified, proving way causing us to not grow in compassion and even flame into hate.
When you learn to step back and choose to understand the other person has their own point of view and respect their passion and right to have that point of view, you will be exchanging Co-Dependent reactiveness for Leading Lady Self-Discipline.
Creating Self-Discipline is not an overnight thing; it is as all behaviors are—a one step, one day, and one little thing at a time kind of change. I believe we stop trying in the discipline arena because of occasional slip-ups being seen as failures. The more we come to the truth within ourselves the more we start to see that in order to change we have to slip and each time we rise that is the behavior of discipline. We don’t arrive at a behavior; we simply rise to it.
Sometimes self-discipline is used as the alternative to using willpower. Willpower is unsustainable for long periods of time as self-discipline is formed from a sense of self-respect and gives dignity to others. Showing up in the world with self-discipline generates energy that allows others to be themselves.
There are many occasions to practice Self-Discipline. Every day will toss us moments in which we can either choose to be Reactive or have Self-Discipline. In the beginning, it will be challenging, you might feel like you are not being yourself, that you are being a pushover or a doormat. I want to offer that as you step back, take a breath, listen, and open yourself up to that moment, over time you might find your heart lighter and a feeling of peace and calm come over you.
If you want to transform the behavior of Reactive to Self-Discipline and are ready to get your one to one coaching? Click here to book your discovery coach call today.